TILT

Yes, I am still in the Netherlands, and no, I dont know why and I dont know till when. To be perfectly honest Ive no idea what the fk I want out of life right now or in the future, neither do I know where I want to be. At one minute I feel OK being where I am and the next I wish I was at the other side of the freakin planet. Days goes by with me doing next to nothing. And it sounds weird coming from me but for the first time in my life it bothers me...When poker owns me it owns me so unbeliebaly hard. I feel like Ive been on permanent tilt for the last couple of weeks. Maybe even longer, I dont know. My mind is restless and constanty looking for something. I am bored out of my mind while there so much left to do and learn but I am simply lacking the willpower/motivation/energy do pick something up and do something with it. I ve got so little reason to feel the way I do and that in itself tilts me even more. For crying out loud, I am dissapointed with the way I roll at the moment!